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Gratitude

Gratitude

The root of joy is gratefulness. ~David Steindl-Rast.An American Catholic Benedictine monk, author, and lecturer. In the past decade, there have been a huge wave of exciting new discoveries about the brain – its neuroplasticity, the physical and psychological...

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How to Soothe Your Partner

How to Soothe Your Partner

There’s nothing like knowing that, in times of stress, your partner is the one person who knows exactly how to soothe you, as you know for them. In order to be a soothing partner for each other, you first need to uncover what soothes your partner best.  Soothe...

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A New Paradigm of Committed Relationship

A New Paradigm of Committed Relationship

For centuries, marriage has been viewed as the cornerstone of society.  Something solid; something permanent. An institution that will withstand the winds of time.  Young men and women have been taught: choose your partner well and the rest will follow. Find...

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Listening with Heart

Listening with Heart

A client, a husband and father, sat in my office, reflecting about the steep decline that had occurred in his ten-year relationship.  “It’s unbelievable… completely unbelievable! How did we ever get to this point?!” Kari and Michael had married in their early 20’s. ...

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True Love

True Love

 “I’m not in love with him any more,” a wife said sadly, sitting in my office. She had been.  Once, over a decade ago.  Before the brutal murder of her husband’s younger sister.  Before the years of tracking down the killer, the long, long trial, the life-sentence in...

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Home

Home

  John Gottman took his 40 years of research on the masters (and disasters) of “marriage” and distilled it down into the concept of the Sound Relationship House.  The seven levels of the house depict his understanding on what creates a strong, viable relationship. I...

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Relational Toolkit

Relational Toolkit

The skills needed to be a successful broker, a gifted carpenter, a dedicated schoolteacher or a fighter pilot, are not the same skills called upon to be a good partner. As adults we spend the vast majority of our time in our livelihood, be it an occupation or be it...

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The Opportunity Behind Difficult Emotions

The Opportunity Behind Difficult Emotions

No one likes to feel difficult emotions:  sorrow, embarrassment, anger, shame, disappointment. It’s uncomfortable and unpleasant—sometimes really unpleasant. For many of us, our first response is to shut down the circuits and to move away from a negative emotion,...

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A Soft Place to Fall

A Soft Place to Fall

As I age, I find that life’s landscape becomes significantly more layered; at times rocky yet also soulful and labyrinthine.  Two phrases I keep hearing: “Well, it’s complicated.” And “I never imagined I’d find myself here!”  But here we indeed are. ...

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