Blog

Those times when we are in the ‘flow’ with our partner is just so very precious! Which can make the inevitable ‘ebbs’ just plain yukky. While I don’t particularly like them either, it helps when I remember that so much of our world has a natural ebb and flow to it,...

Good will is generated so effortlessly in the beginning of a romantic relationship, we don’t even know we’re doing it—it just ‘happens’! It’s what draws us together in the first place—all of that good stuff: the laughter, the smiles, the hanging out together, the...

You might be familiar with John Gottman’s Four Horseman (the four behaviors most detrimental to harmony in a relationship): Criticism, Defensiveness, Stonewalling and Contempt. Each has an antidote, and the antidote to criticizing is to complain well. When we live...

Everyone gets triggered. It’s not an ‘if’, it’s a ‘when’. We might be triggered by reminders of unwanted memories, uncomfortable topics, another person’s words or actions, or even one’s own behaviors. How do you know if you’ve been triggered? By listening to your mind...

You may have noticed, I have an earlier blog titled The Opportunity behind Difficult Emotions.  This is often the work I do in my office with someone—examining the longing, the story, the need, behind negative emotions or emotional rupture between two...

In this video, Connie breaks down a process followed by many successful couples after a difficult interaction.

https://vimeo.com/480964369/20c5078a07 In this video Connie Feutz, one of the original six Master Clinicians at the John Gottman Institute talks about two necessary parts of a successful relationship: good will, and the skills to navigate difficult...

https://vimeo.com/480963493/76dd383900 In this video Connie Feutz, one of the original six Master Clinicians at the John Gottman Institute talks about the Touchstone Meeting—a communication strategy for busy couples striving for more balance and harmony in...